Breaking Vicious Cycles - A Guide For Better Mental Health

Breaking Free from Vicious Cycles and Embracing Virtuous Living

In our journey toward a better life, it’s easy to feel trapped in habits that don’t serve us. Many of us find ourselves stuck in a vicious cycle of negative thoughts, unhelpful behaviours, and coping mechanisms that only drag us further down. But what if we could recognise when we’re in a vicious cycle and learn to shift toward a more virtuous cycle, a space where our actions align with our values and long-term goals?

The concept of vicious and virtuous cycles can be a powerful tool for self-awareness and growth. By understanding how these cycles work, we can start to disrupt unhelpful patterns and build more intentional, supportive ones.

Recognising the Cycles

A vicious cycle often involves negative habits and reactions that keep us feeling stuck. This might look like:

• Turning to alcohol, overeating, or binge-watching media for a quick dopamine hit
• Avoiding or numbing uncomfortable emotions
• Comparing ourselves to others or harshly self-criticising
• Blaming others or focusing on what’s going wrong

These actions might provide temporary relief, but they often lead to feelings of low energy, overwhelm, or hopelessness. Vicious cycles create a downward spiral where negative thoughts and feelings fuel behaviours that only reinforce those emotions.

In contrast, a virtuous cycle is driven by actions aligned with our goals and values, leading to feelings of control, pride, and increased energy. Some of the key signs include:

• Developing healthier habits, like setting goals, journaling, and tracking progress
• Focusing on positive intentions and long-term objectives
• Engaging in self-care activities, such as regular exercise, a consistent morning routine, and actions like stretching, flossing, or tidying up
• Building positive momentum through habit-stacking and small wins

Virtuous cycles build us up by creating an upward spiral of motivation, confidence, and resilience. But staying in this positive space isn’t about perfection; rather, it’s about awareness, intention, and the ability to move forward even after setbacks.

What Lies Between Vicious and Virtuous Cycles

Between these two cycles, we encounter the everyday circumstances and challenges of life—events that are often beyond our control. Stressful situations, setbacks, disappointments, or challenging relationships all influence our reactions. Our perception of these circumstances plays a critical role in determining which cycle we enter.

When we interpret life’s challenges through a lens of self-judgment, negativity, or shame, we often find ourselves pulled into a vicious cycle. Negative emotions tend to fuel thoughts that spiral downward, creating behaviours that don’t align with our best interests. For instance, feeling low can lead to more low-quality thoughts, which can in turn drive us to coping mechanisms like overeating or drinking.

However, when we approach these situations with compassion and perspective, we create the opportunity to engage in a virtuous cycle. Viewing setbacks as chances to grow, rather than failures, can shift us toward more constructive actions. This approach draws from the concept of fixed vs. growth mindset, where the fixed mindset keeps us trapped in vicious cycles, while a growth mindset encourages us to look for ways to improve and adapt.

The Power of Small Wins and Support

One of the most effective ways to build and sustain a virtuous cycle is by celebrating small wins and incremental progress. Even tiny actions—like drinking water instead of alcohol, setting aside five minutes for meditation, or taking a short walk—help reinforce positive habits and boost confidence. These actions don’t need to be dramatic changes; small, consistent choices can create powerful, long-lasting results.

A support system is also crucial for staying on track. Surrounding yourself with people who encourage and believe in your goals, whether it’s friends, a coach, or a community, can help you maintain a virtuous cycle. If you don’t have supportive people in your life currently, consider seeking them out or building connections that foster positivity.

Acknowledging progress, rather than judging yourself for what you haven’t done, can shift your focus toward growth. Recognising even the smallest of improvements keeps you grounded in the momentum you’re creating, which strengthens your resilience over time.

Breaking Out of a Vicious Cycle

If you find yourself in a vicious cycle, remember that awareness is the first step to change. Here are some steps to help break free:

1. Pause and Reflect: Recognise when you’re in a vicious cycle without judgment. Ask yourself, “What belief keeps me here? What might I be misinterpreting or assuming?”
2. Challenge Your Beliefs: Look at the thoughts fuelling your cycle and ask, “What if I’m wrong?” Opening yourself to a new perspective can help you see choices you hadn’t considered.
3. Take Small, Supportive Actions: Choose one small action that could move you toward a more positive state, like calling a friend, going for a walk, or setting a new intention for the day. Small steps often create a domino effect.
4. Be Kind to Yourself: Practicing self-compassion is essential for breaking out of vicious cycles. Acknowledging the effort you’re putting in, rather than criticizing yourself for perceived shortcomings, will help you create space for healthier habits.

Shifting out of a vicious cycle is not about grand gestures but about cultivating habits that align with who you want to be. This includes adopting an awareness-based approach, learning to pause, and reframing your thinking to consider what truly supports your values and goals.

Final Thoughts

The journey between vicious and virtuous cycles is a natural part of life; we all drift between the two. What matters most is not avoiding the vicious cycle entirely but building the self-awareness and skills to recognise when you’re in it—and knowing what steps to take to shift gears. Focus on small, consistent actions that support your values, acknowledge your progress, and keep a compassionate perspective. This approach fosters the resilience and growth mindset that ultimately lead to a more fulfilling, virtuous life.

So, how does your week look? Take a moment to reflect on the cycles in your life and consider what small steps you can take to move toward more intentional choices. By cultivating awareness, celebrating progress, and embracing self-compassion, you’re empowering yourself to create a life that aligns with your goals and values.

Listen to episode 169 of The Alcohol ReThink Podcast here