Who Am I Without Alcohol?

For many men, especially those who have developed a long-standing relationship with drinking, the question “Who am I without alcohol?” can feel daunting. This question often arises when someone begins to rethink their relationship with alcohol—perhaps after realising that it’s no longer serving them in the ways they once thought it did.

Alcohol, for many, becomes part of an identity, a lifestyle, or even a coping mechanism. Whether it's social events, relaxing after a hard day's work, or dealing with life’s stresses, alcohol often plays a significant role. So, imagining a life without it can feel like a loss of identity. You might wonder: “How do I socialise? How do I unwind? Who am I in those moments where I would usually drink?”

Why is This Question so Challenging?

The challenge stems from the years of habits, patterns, and associations you've built around drinking. Alcohol becomes linked with certain activities,...

Breaking Free from Vicious Cycles and Embracing Virtuous Living

In our journey toward a better life, it’s easy to feel trapped in habits that don’t serve us. Many of us find ourselves stuck in a vicious cycle of negative thoughts, unhelpful behaviours, and coping mechanisms that only drag us further down. But what if we could recognise when we’re in a vicious cycle and learn to shift toward a more virtuous cycle, a space where our actions align with our values and long-term goals?

The concept of vicious and virtuous cycles can be a powerful tool for self-awareness and growth. By understanding how these cycles work, we can start to disrupt unhelpful patterns and build more intentional, supportive ones.

Recognising the Cycles

A vicious cycle often involves negative habits and reactions that keep us feeling stuck. This might look like:

• Turning to alcohol, overeating, or binge-watching media for a quick dopamine hit
• Avoiding or numbing uncomfortable emotions
• Comparing...

Dealing with Disappointment: Understanding Triggers and Finding New Paths

Disappointment is one of those emotions we all encounter, and it can hit hard—especially when things don’t go the way we expect. Whether it’s waiting for results that never seem to come, or feeling let down by situations or people, disappointment has a way of sneaking up on us. And when it does, it can easily trigger unhealthy habits like overeating or drinking to cope.

In this article, I’ll explore why we feel disappointment, what it’s trying to tell us, and how to find healthier ways to deal with it—so you don’t fall into those old habits of using alcohol or food to escape.

Why Do We Feel Disappointed?

At its core, disappointment happens when our reality doesn’t match our expectations. We set goals, make plans, and picture outcomes, but when things don’t unfold as we imagined, disappointment hits. A common source of this feeling is having rigid...